Five scientifically-grounded practices for a better life: gratitude, kindness, forgiveness, volunteering, and the best version of oneself

In the last two decades, positive psychology has done something unusual in its discipline: put to the test ideas that for years had been mere intuition. Researchers have designed controlled trials—much like those for pharmaceuticals—to see which practices actually improve happiness, mental health, and connection with others. And they have found, time and again, that five simple, inexpensive activities, accessible to anyone, produce measurable effects. Harvard's Human Flourishing Program has summarized them as the practices with the strongest evidence for promoting human flourishing.

We review them here with those aged 60, 70, or 80 in mind—and for anyone who has heard them a thousand times but has never seriously tried them.

1. Gratitude—write down three things a day

The most studied practice and the one with the fastest effect. The canonical exercise is as simple as this: each night, before going to sleep, write down in a notebook three things you are grateful for from your day. They do not have to be grand—the sunlight streaming through the window, a phone call from your granddaughter, a quiet cup of coffee. The important thing is that they are specific and written by hand.

In clinical trials, performing this exercise for two consecutive weeks produces significant improvements in life satisfaction and sleep quality, with effects persisting for months. For older adults, there is an added benefit: gratitude redirects attention to what is present, countering the cultural tendency to focus on what is no longer there.

How to start

A beautiful notebook, a pen you enjoy using, a dedicated spot in your home. Three lines a day. Do not read the previous entries until a month has passed; then, read them all at once. It will surprise you.

2. Acts of kindness—one a day, at no cost

Sonja Lyubomirsky's classic experiment asked a group of people to perform five acts of kindness in a single day, once a week, for six weeks. Other groups spaced them out. And others did nothing. Those in the first group—five acts in one day—experienced sustained improvements in well-being.

For later life, a gentler version: one act of kindness a day. Sending a message to someone you haven't spoken to in a while. Calling the pharmacist to ask how their family is doing. Bringing coffee to your partner without them asking. Going downstairs to buy bread for a neighbor who can no longer do so.

Everyday kindness does two things at once: it cares for the other and recenters you.

3. Forgiveness—writing the letter you will not send

This is perhaps the most difficult of the five. Clinical trials on forgiveness—led, among others, by Robert Enright's team—show that undergoing a conscious process of forgiveness significantly improves mental health, blood pressure, and sleep quality. Important note: forgiving does not mean forgetting or necessarily reconciling. It means restoring the other person to their humanity and releasing the chain that binds you to a grievance.

How to start

A gentle technique: write a letter to the person you feel wronged you. Not to send it. Tell them what happened, what you felt, and what effect it has had on your life. And, if you feel it, end with a sentence recognizing that this person is also a human being. The letter is put away or burned. The inner shift remains.

4. Volunteering—at least two hours a week

The fourth practice supported by evidence is serving others on a regular basis. There is specific literature for older adults: two hours of volunteering per week is associated with a lower risk of depression, better cognitive health, and greater longevity. It is one of the few interventions that changes all six dimensions of flourishing that we saw in the article on the Harvard framework: health, purpose, character, relationships, happiness, and, somewhat surprisingly, stability—because it structures your week.

How to start

Start small and start close by. Your parish, your neighborhood association, a local NGO, a public library, a soup kitchen, a school. Just one afternoon a week. If you sustain it for six months, you won't want to stop.

5. The best possible version of oneself—fifteen minutes a day

The least known technique and, perhaps, the most interesting for later life. Designed by Laura King, it consists of sitting down for fifteen minutes a day for two weeks and writing, in the present tense, what your life would look like if everything turned out as well as possible over the next five years. Not fantasy: the best realistic version of your life.

The effect is well-documented: it improves clarity about goals, internal motivation, and, after two weeks, overall well-being. For an individual in later life, this exercise holds extra value: it overcomes the inertia of thinking only about what is no longer possible, opening the imagination to what still is.

How to chain them together

There is no need to do all five at once. A sensible approach, if you feel up to it:

1. Month 1. Only gratitude, every night. Three lines in a notebook.

2. Month 2. Continue with gratitude and start one act of kindness a day.

3. Month 3. The previous two practices and, once, write the letter of forgiveness.

4. Month 4. The previous practices and start volunteering for two hours a week.

5. Months 5–6. The previous practices and two weeks of writing your best possible version.

After six months, you won't be a different person. But you will be—and this is what the data indicates—a more stable, more connected, more useful, and more serene version of the person you already are.

Why this fits with a humanities journey

The five practices are individual. However, they all improve significantly when sustained in company: with a shared notebook, group conversations, and readings that deepen them. This is why Thenomba's Senior journey integrates them throughout the year: gratitude appears in the Nature stage, kindness and forgiveness in Anthropology and Philosophy, volunteering in The Return, and writing the best possible version runs through each NOMBA's personal notebook over the twelve months.

Primary sources: VanderWeele, T. J. (2017). On the promotion of human flourishing. PNAS, 114(31), 8148–8156. Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology. Enright, R. D. (2001). Forgiveness Is a Choice. American Psychological Association.

Cover image generated with artificial intelligence.